Posts in Confidence

What does it mean when you say you enjoy life? Is it possible to enjoy life to the fullest?

Inevitable change is a fact. Change is inevitable and is synonymous with life and growth. The life we lead today is the result of the acceptance of change.

Many people spend their whole lives searching for things to make them happy, but what is joy and how can we come to experience it? We're so busy watching out for what's just ahead of us that we don't take time to enjoy where we are. We enjoy life when things are happening - this means you're alive. Here are the TOP 4 things that will genuinely help you live a joyful life:

Appreciate Little Things. Appreciating the little things in life means that you focus your attention on what nurtures and sustains you in life. On everything that brings you even the smallest amount of pleasure. It also means practicing gratitude by noticing these everyday things that you take for granted so easily.
Avoid Toxic Environment. A toxic environment is any place or any behavior that causes harm to your health, happiness, and wellbeing. If you’re around people who make you feel small, insecure, or bad about yourself, you might be in a toxic environment. If you feel a physical weight every time you walk into your place of work, you might be in a toxic environment.
Be Content. Contentment is generally defined as a longer lasting, but a deeper feeling of satisfaction and gratitude. Happiness is arguably viewed as having a temporary feeling attached to it. Whereas contentment is viewed by many to have a long-lasting effect on those that experience it.
Nourish your Body. You can’t enjoy life if you’re not nourishing your body. Little things matter more when you’re enjoying. Be exuberant about life, share this moment to celebrate small victories. Sometimes having fun with the people - we love is all the therapy you need.

A joyful life is not being rich, being popular, being highly educated or being perfect. It is about being real, being humble, being strong and being able to share ourselves and touch the lives of others. It is only then that we could have a full, happy and content life.

And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.

~Jade Asuncion

Positive Psychology: Bringing Happiness to the Forefront of our Lives

The term Positive Psychology means a lot. What is Positive Psychology and why is it important? There are some common misconceptions about positive psychology, both about what it is and what it is not.

Positive Psychology

Described in many ways and with many words, but the commonly accepted definition of the field is that positive psychology is a scientific approach to studying human thoughts, feelings, and behavior, with a focus on strengths instead of weaknesses, building the good in life instead of repairing the bad, and taking the lives of average people up to “great” instead of focusing solely on moving those who are struggling up to “normal”.

Characteristics of Positive Psychology

• Positive events and influences in life.

• Positive experiences like happiness, joy, inspiration, and love.

• Positive states and traits like gratitude, resilience, and compassion.

• Positive institutions applying positive principles within entire organizations and institutions.

Positive psychology teaches how to harness the power of shifting one’s perspective to maximize the potential for happiness in many of our everyday behaviors. Injecting a bit more optimism and gratitude into your life is a simple action that can give you a radically more positive outlook on life. Happiness also promotes more happiness.

Using positive psychology can choose our own environments and be with the people that increase our probability of happiness. The individuals who become the happiest and grow the most are those who also make truth and their own personal growth primary values.

"This is scientific proof that happiness is indeed a choice."

~Jade Asuncion

Truths About Relationship Every Woman Needs to Know

Every woman needs to know these.

Living in the society we do; we’re force-fed ideas and belief systems. Unconsciously we are molded by everything that goes on around us. Consequently, we grow used to them, and fail to see the wrong in them. Some of us lose the ability to see beyond what we’ve always been taught or made to believe. And those of us who dare even think let alone do anything differently face numerous difficulties. It’s virtually impossible for someone to be themselves and to go after what they truly desire.

When it comes to relationships, we’ve been brought up thinking that only when you’re with someone, you feel complete; otherwise, something will always be missing. And that being in love creates dependency and so on. Women particularly tend to get carried away with these ideas and set unrealistic expectations of their relationships.

They need to understand that relationships play out very differently in real life than fiction. And it’s absolutely normal to think and feel against the norms set forth. You can shape your relationships along with your partner the way you see fit.

• The only person capable of saving you is YOU!
Unlike the movies, there isn’t going to be a knight in shining armor to save you from yourself. You are your own savior. Just like you’d like for your partner to be capable of taking care of themselves, they would prefer the same from you. If saving you is all they ever does, the relationship won’t be fulfilling for either of you. So may be lay off the whole damsel in distress bit and learn to take care of yourself. They can be there for you when you need them, but you alone are responsible for your life and happiness.

• You cannot be anyone else’s savior
If you’re responsible for yourself, so are they. There’s only so much you can do for someone. This doesn’t mean that you should abandon them in times of need. Be the unwavering support they need. But remember, it’s up to them to help themselves. The urge to keep them safe from everything comes naturally, but you need to realize that they need to take care of things themselves. And it is essential for everyone to face the difficult times to grow as a person.

• Recognize the difference between being supportive and agreeing
Just because your partner doesn’t agree with you on something does not mean they wouldn’t support you. You might not be on the same page with them, but it shouldn’t keep you from being there for them when they needs you. For instance, you might think that a certain career path isn’t the best choice, but if it’s something they’d love to do, you should do your part in helping them get there. Similarly, if there’s something you want and your partner is not particularly a fan of, they would still be on board with it just for your sake.

• You don’t need to play caretaker just to show them support
The only way to love someone wholeheartedly is to love yourself first. There is nothing wrong with placing your needs above everyone else’s. Unless you feel content, you won’t be able to make anyone else feel the same. Sure, you should be there when they need you, but that does not mean enabling them in anyway. It’s crucial for everyone as an individual to take care of themselves on their own.

• First impressions matter
Pay close attention to what they say and more importantly to how they act. Don’t fool yourself into believing that they might change somewhere along the way. If you can’t accept them the way they are then you’re only setting yourself up for regret. If there’s something that you find unacceptable about them, and you keep up with it initially hoping for it to go away, you won’t like the result.

• Learn to accept things and people the way they are

Be very clear on what you want and if you choose to be with a certain someone, who wants different things, come to terms with it. This is the only way you’re going to have a viable relationship. Don’t suppress your needs or wants and don’t make your significant other do that either. Accept them as they are, and you’ll be at peace with your relationship.

• Face the difficulties instead of running away from them
No matter how difficult, terrifying or hopeless a situation may be, running away is never an option. If you’re out the door at the very sign of trouble, you probably need to reconsider your idea of a relationship. You’ll face problems regardless of who ever you’re with and whatever you do. So, bring yourself to deal with them. In relationships, it serves to be a cornerstone, and if done right, strengthens the foundation.

• You are equally responsible for the condition of your relationship
Whenever something goes wrong, we tend to blame the next person. It’s the easier thing to do. In doing so, we fail to acknowledge our shortcomings. There is a pretty good chance that if you’re not particularly happy with your relationship, it could be because you are either doing something wrong or maybe not doing anything at all. The way your relationship turns out depends on you as much as it does on them.

• Some relationships inevitably end
Whenever you meet someone that you decide to be with, you naturally want them to be the one. Where it could happen, there’s always a chance that it couldn’t. Life has its uncertainties. In some cases, you both might not be on the same page, or you drift apart while in others, even if you two want to ne together, things just don’t work out. That does not have to be the end of the world, you still have yourself. Love yourself and whoever is meant to stay, will stay. Some things are beyond your control and there’s no point in stressing over them.

As long as you come to terms with these realities, you will have better luck with your relationships. You will know what to expect and what to give in return. And that your first priority should be yourself. You can’t expect a relationship to last without any sort of efforts. Cater to its needs and everything will fall into place.

- Jade Asuncion

General Therapy, Confidence, Relationships, Self Care, Transitions, Movement TherapyGuest UserMay 27, 2022Relationships, relationship status, relationships goals, relationships101, relationships matter, relationships quotes, relationship stuff, relationship struggles, relationship sayings, relationships first, relationships are hard, relationship school, relationship success, relationship specialist, relationships advice, relationship support, relationship’s goal, relationships for life, relationships take work, relationships work, relationship spells, Relationships over achievement, relationships is everything, relationships of the day, relationships unloaded, relationship split, relationship series panel, relationships are goals, relationships that matter, relationships with humans are overrated, relationships how, relationships past, relationships and marriage, Relationships on your terms, Relationships at us Loving Me, relationships are everything, relationships not sales, relationships feed, relationships end, Relationship at us Loving Me, relationships on your terms, relationship show, Relationships that matter, relationship is everything, relationships over achievement, Relationship spells, relationships goal, Therapy, therapist near me, cognitive behavioral therapy, emdr therapy, psychologist near me, psychotherapy, counseling near me, marriage counseling near me, cbt therapy, behavioral therapy, cognitive therapy, gestalt therapy, lmft, psychodynamic therapy, child psychologist near me couples counseling near me, couples therapy near me, find a therapist, psychotherapist near me, mental health therapist near me, person centered therapy, milieu therapy, mental health therapist, somatic therapy, solution focused therapy, narrative therapy, humanistic therapy, clinical psychologist near me, talk therapy, rational emotive therapy, eft therapy, grief counseling near me, emdr therapy near me, existential therapy, family therapist near me, trauma therapy, anger management therapy, emotionally focused therapy, relationship therapist, psychoanalytic therapy, holistic therapy, therapist near me for depression, child counseling near me, psychological therapy, dbt therapy near me, anxiety therapist near me, Therapy for black girls, therapy dog in training, therapy cat, therapy Thursday, therapy horse, therapy time, therapy life, therapy helps, therapy sessions, therapy for black men, therapy animals, therapy quotes, therapy dogs rock, therapy horses, therapy animal, therapy for the soul, therapy for black women, therapy pet, therapy dogs international, therapy dog so fig, therapy oil, therapy music, therapy dog training, therapy for asians, therapy is okay, therapy yoga, therapy ducks, therapy dog, therapy question mark, therapy for children, Selfcare, selfcare threads, selfcare tips, selfcare Sunday, selfcare thread, selfcare matters, selfcare first, selfcare account, selfcare day, selfcare routine, selfcare daily, selfcare love, selfcare page, selfcare sis, selfcare hacks, selfcare tip, selfcare is not selfish, selfcare every day, Selfcare Coach, selfcare quotes, selfcare Sundays, selfcare is sacred, selfcare Russia, selfcare time, selfcare posts, selfcare tr, selfcare ideas, selfcare threads daily, selfcare post, fashion, beautiful, pic of the day, happy, nature, tbt, style, summer, selfie, beauty, girl, friends, smile, family, life, music, makeup, amazing, motivation, lifestyle, hair, inspiration, healthy, black and white, happiness, portrait, quotes, mood, Self-Made, selfies, Mindfulness, mindfulness meditation, mindfulness practice. Mindfulness matters, mindfulness coach, mindfulness quotes, mindfulness for kids, mindfulness moment, mindfulness brasil, mindfulness USA, mindfulness training, mindfulness Monday, mindfulness teacher, mindfulness for children, mindfulness in schools, mindfulness, mindfulness eating, mindfulness coaching, mindfulness retreat, mindfulness living. Mindfulness box, mindfulness yoga. Mindfulness tools, mindfulness-based stress reduction, mindfulness app, mindfulness for mothers, mindfulness project, mindfulness moments, mindfulness overconcern, Mindfulness exercise, mindfulness based cognitive therapy, mindfulness workshop, mindfulness quote, mindfulness coaches, mindfulness man AUS, mindfulness dance, mindfulness books, mindfulness running, mindfulness trainer gezocht, Mindfulness Or Whatever, mindfulness escolar, mindfulness in Istanbul, mindfulness in a czej, mindfulness at, mindfulness creative, mindfulness based creativity coaching, mindfulness El Salvador, mindfulness met kinder end, mindfulness without complaint, mindfulness based coaching, mindfulness help, mindfulness alliance, mindfulness wandering, mindfulness Torino, mindfulness recipe, mindfulness therapy, mindfulness blog

Understanding the 5 Love Languages

Most people cannot define their vision of love because love is a complicated matter and relationships can be challenging. However, there are proven ways to better understand how we give and receive love from others. According to Dr. Chapman, there are five primary love languages that people speak. Are love languages real, or are they a myth? Could knowing your partner’s love language improve your relationship? Let's find out.

The languages include words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and receiving gifts. Here is an overview of each:

Words of affirmation: Compliments, sweet statements, expressions of pride and appreciation – these are verbal statements that display affection.

Receiving gifts: This involves tangible items with thoughtful meaning. Gifts do not have to cost a lot of money. They simply show, “Hey, he was thinking of me today.”

Acts of service: These are actions, not physical gifts. Examples include having dinner ready when your spouse gets home from work, washing your partner’s car, giving your spouse a foot rub at the end of the day, etc.

Quality time: This involves spending time with your partner, either doing an activity or hanging out at home. Acts of service and quality time are similar in that they are both gifts of time. However, quality time involves moments together. Acts of service are thoughtful efforts.

Physical touch: This is physical affection, such as hugging, kissing, holding hands, being intimate, etc.

According to Dr. Chapman, each person has a primary and secondary love language. The primary love language is the one that resonates “love” to that person the most. A person’s secondary love language has less value than the primary love language, but it still communicates love to them.

Love languages have two sides – Giving and Receiving

How you normally give love may not be the same as how you receive love. These factors usually align, but not always. For example, I may enjoy giving gifts to others, but I do not enjoy receiving them. I may enjoy surprising my loved ones with acts of service, but I dislike surprises in return.

With that in mind, the five love languages do provide a helpful guideline for a thriving and long-lasting relationship. Understanding your love languages and your partner’s love languages can ensure that you showcase your love clearly and effectively.

When was the last time you have felt most loved? Ask your partner to do the same, and talk about the elements that are equivalent to the word "I love you". It's not gonna be easy but it'll definitely be worth it. ♥

~Jade Asuncion

Relationships, ConfidenceMonica ManuelApril 22, 2022Therapy, therapist near me, cognitive behavioral therapy, couples counseling near me, emdr therapy, psychologist near me, psychotherapy, counseling near me, marriage counseling near me, cbt therapy, behavioral therapy, cognitive therapy, gestalt therapy, lmft, psychodynamic therapy, child psychologist near me couples counseling near me, couples therapy near me, find a therapist, psychotherapist near me, mental health therapist near me, person centered therapy, milieu therapy, mental health therapist, somatic therapy, solution focused therapy, narrative therapy, humanistic therapy, clinical psychologist near me, talk therapy, rational emotive therapy, eft therapy, grief counseling near me, emdr therapy near me, existential therapy, family therapist near me, trauma therapy, anger management therapy, emotionally focused therapy, relationship therapist, psychoanalytic therapy, holistic therapy, therapist near me for depression, child counseling near me, psychological therapy, dbt therapy near me, anxiety therapist near me, Therapy for black girls, therapy dog in training, therapy cat, therapy Thursday, therapy horse, therapy time, therapy life, therapy helps, therapy sessions, therapy for black men, therapy animals, therapy quotes, therapy dogs rock, therapy horses, therapy animal, therapy for the soul, therapy for black women, therapy pet, therapy dogs international, therapy dog so fig, therapy oil, therapy music, therapy dog training, therapy for asians, therapy is okay, therapy yoga, therapy ducks, therapy dog, therapy question mark, therapy for children, jade asuncion, jadeasuncion, asuncion jade

The True Beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul

"The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mode but the true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives the passion that she shows. The beauty of a woman grows with the passing years." - Audrey Hepburn

Beauty. It’s sad how people use this word to describe the attractiveness and physical appearance of some people. Beautiful is the first word that comes to our minds when we see a gorgeous woman walking confidently, dressed in a bomb outfit head to toe while tossing her long, amazing hair aside.
In all honesty, this is a sight that would leave us all speechless. But, here’s what. Beauty has nothing to do with looks. The truth is, beauty isn’t a good outfit, or an eyeshadow blended to perfection. Beauty is much more than what your eye sees.

The real beauty is reflected in a woman’s soul.

Here are 5 things that make a woman beautiful that has nothing to do with her looks:

HER MIND - The most beautiful women out there are not the ones who attract with their looks. In my opinion, the most beautiful women are the intelligent ones. The ones who seduce with their sharp minds and their intellect. The ones who are eager to learn more and cultivate their minds. The ones who are hungry for knowledge and aren’t afraid to let their imagination run free.
HER SPIRIT - A woman’s true beauty is reflected in her spirit. It can be seen in the way she copes with life challenges and the way she handles all the obstacles that come her way. A woman’s true beauty in her soul. Her real beauty is the enthusiasm that she gives away. The love that she shares with the world. The sparks in her eyes that make her a ray of sunshine in a human form.
HER PASSION - Her deepest, wildest dreams are what make her who she is. A unique, extraordinary and truly incredible person. Her beauty can be seen in the things that make her heart smile, eyes sparkle, and smile shine the brightest.
HER STRENGTH - A woman who is not afraid to fight for what she believes in is a beautiful woman. A woman who is not afraid to stand on her own is an incredible woman. A woman who refuses to give up and let society’s standards define her is a truly extraordinary woman. Her beauty is not measured by her appearance, but by her strength to cope with everything that life faces her.
HER COMPASSION - A cold-hearted woman will love herself, but no one will love her back. Having a kind, compassionate heart in a cruel world like ours is a true gift. And it is the real mark of a beautiful human being. For there is nothing more extraordinary than being there for others and being able to share your love with every human being out there. Compassion is one of the most important human virtues. Compassion is the true beauty of the soul.
As you go about your day today, think about what is bubbling up from your soul for the world to see. glance in a mirror. Are you radiating joy and happiness?
Remember, true beauty is a reflection of the soul.

- Jade Asuncion

Confidence, Self Care, Relationships, Transitions, Movement Therapy, Mindfulness, LBGT, General TherapyGuest UserMarch 9, 2022Relationships, relationship status, relationships goals, relationships101, relationships matter, relationships quotes, relationship stuff, relationship struggles, relationship sayings, relationships first, relationships are hard, relationship school, relationship success, relationship specialist, relationships advice, relationship support, relationship’s goal, relationships for life, relationships take work, relationships work, relationship spells, Relationships over achievement, relationships is everything, relationships of the day, relationships unloaded, relationship split, relationship series panel, relationships are goals, relationships that matter, relationships with humans are overrated, relationships how, relationships past, relationships and marriage, Relationships on your terms, Relationships at us Loving Me, relationships are everything, relationships not sales, relationships feed, relationships end, Relationship at us Loving Me, relationships on your terms, relationship show, Relationships that matter, relationship is everything, relationships over achievement, Relationship spells, relationships goal, Therapy, therapist near me, cognitive behavioral therapy, emdr therapy, psychologist near me, psychotherapy, counseling near me, marriage counseling near me, cbt therapy, behavioral therapy, cognitive therapy, gestalt therapy, lmft, psychodynamic therapy, child psychologist near me couples counseling near me, couples therapy near me, find a therapist, psychotherapist near me, mental health therapist near me, person centered therapy, milieu therapy, mental health therapist, somatic therapy, solution focused therapy, narrative therapy, humanistic therapy, clinical psychologist near me, talk therapy, rational emotive therapy, eft therapy, grief counseling near me, emdr therapy near me, existential therapy, family therapist near me, trauma therapy, anger management therapy, emotionally focused therapy, relationship therapist, psychoanalytic therapy, holistic therapy, therapist near me for depression, child counseling near me, psychological therapy, dbt therapy near me, anxiety therapist near me, Therapy for black girls, therapy dog in training, therapy cat, therapy Thursday, therapy horse, therapy time, therapy life, therapy helps, therapy sessions, therapy for black men, therapy animals, therapy quotes, therapy dogs rock, therapy horses, therapy animal, therapy for the soul, therapy for black women, therapy pet, therapy dogs international, therapy dog so fig, therapy oil, therapy music, therapy dog training, therapy for asians, therapy is okay, therapy yoga, therapy ducks, therapy dog, therapy question mark, therapy for children, Selfcare, selfcare threads, selfcare tips, selfcare Sunday, selfcare thread, selfcare matters, selfcare first, selfcare account, selfcare day, selfcare routine, selfcare daily, selfcare love, selfcare page, selfcare sis, selfcare hacks, selfcare tip, selfcare is not selfish, selfcare every day, Selfcare Coach, selfcare quotes, selfcare Sundays, selfcare is sacred, selfcare Russia, selfcare time, selfcare posts, selfcare tr, selfcare ideas, selfcare threads daily, selfcare post, fashion, beautiful, pic of the day, happy, nature, tbt, style, summer, selfie, beauty, girl, friends, smile, family, life, music, makeup, amazing, motivation, lifestyle, hair, inspiration, healthy, black and white, happiness, portrait, quotes, mood, Self-Made, selfies, Mindfulness, mindfulness meditation, mindfulness practice. Mindfulness matters, mindfulness coach, mindfulness quotes, mindfulness for kids, mindfulness moment, mindfulness brasil, mindfulness USA, mindfulness training, mindfulness Monday, mindfulness teacher, mindfulness for children, mindfulness in schools, mindfulness, mindfulness eating, mindfulness coaching, mindfulness retreat, mindfulness living. Mindfulness box, mindfulness yoga. Mindfulness tools, mindfulness-based stress reduction, mindfulness app, mindfulness for mothers, mindfulness project, mindfulness moments, mindfulness overconcern, Mindfulness exercise, mindfulness based cognitive therapy, mindfulness workshop, mindfulness quote, mindfulness coaches, mindfulness man AUS, mindfulness dance, mindfulness books, mindfulness running, mindfulness trainer gezocht, Mindfulness Or Whatever, mindfulness escolar, mindfulness in Istanbul, mindfulness in a czej, mindfulness at, mindfulness creative, mindfulness based creativity coaching, mindfulness El Salvador, mindfulness met kinder end, mindfulness without complaint, mindfulness based coaching, mindfulness help, mindfulness alliance, mindfulness wandering, mindfulness Torino, mindfulness recipe, mindfulness therapy, mindfulness blog

Inner Peace

You might have heard the term “inner peace” hundreds of times without thinking too much about it. But what exactly does it mean to have inner peace? And more importantly, what does inner peace mean to you?

Inner Peace Leads to Inner Strength. It can be defined as feeling a deep sense of mental and spiritual harmony or serenity. When you’re at peace, you have the ability to keep yourself grounded and strong, even in the face of turmoil or stress. You might think of inner peace as the opposite of anxiousness, but it certainly isn’t weakness.

Some may equate inner peace with passiveness or even dullness. But if you’ve really found inner peace, that doesn’t mean you don’t have an active mind. On the contrary, inner peace may make you feel more in the moment, more conscious, and more alive.

What Does Inner Peace Mean for You?

You are the only one who can ultimately define how inner peace feels to you, but here are a few elements that may help you determine just how at peace you are.

Less Overthinking. If you tend to overthink or over analyze every situation, conversation, or mistake, you might want to strive for an inner peace that reduces your need to do so. Maybe to you, inner peace means not wasting your energy this way.
Not Dwelling on the Past. Related to overthinking is the tendency to dwell on the past. This could mean letting your mind churn over the mistakes you or others have made. It could keep you from forgiving yourself or others. It could mean reliving painful memories. If you’re dwelling on the past, then you’re living in it, and that makes inner peace difficult to find.
Less Worry Over the Future. If you feel peaceful inside yourself, the future won’t look bleak or frightening. While you may not know what to expect tomorrow or next year, you have a feeling that everything will be alright. If you have inner peace, you don’t need to have your future all planned out in order to feel settled. Your peace comes from within — not from knowing the future.
Feeling Freedom. If you feel free and unencumbered by worry, guilt, or anxiousness, you may have a high level of inner peace. People who are at peace don’t feel bogged down by yesterday. They don’t have frequent or severe bouts of “analysis paralysis” that makes decision-making difficult.
Quiet Confidence. Do you feel a sense of quiet confidence that your life will turn out reasonably well, despite some difficulties? Do you feel like, even though life may throw you a curveball here and there, you can generally move forward without fear? If so, you may be feeling inner peace.

Inner peace appears when “You Empty Your Mind”. It is like a clean and spacious room, empty of unnecessary, old, or broken stuff. After emptying your mind of unnecessary and negative thoughts, it will be filled with happiness and inner peace, with nothing to disturb it. You can get these results through meditation practices. When you remove all the unnecessary and useless stuff from your mind, you become more alive. The negative and meaningless thoughts would be gone, and you see everything more clearly, like you never did before.

~ Jade Asuncion

Sexual Harassment in the Workplace

We’d love you to join us and add your voice to thousands of people who are saying #itsnotok at the start of sexual violence awareness week.

Women have constantly had to endure unwanted attention from men while being ignored when we speak out against it. Its not uncommon to talk to your friends and hear about the different tactics used to avoid being harassed like walking with your keys between your fingers or being on the phone with someone as you walk out in public. Its uncomfortable to think that one of the main places we spend most of our time doesn’t always feel like a safe space. At work its not practical to be on the phone with a friend or have your guard up the whole time. You expect respect from your colleagues and treat them the same because the environment is completely different than being out in public. This should be a safe space, but then why does it feel there are times it is not?

We spend so much of our time at work that its normal to make friends and get close to people, but a lot of problems begin when boundaries are crossed. Assisting a coworker or providing your number to work on a project for example, does not grant them special access into your life or near your body. The same way coming into work, doing your job while never communicating with that person, also does not equal an invitation. Some men have taken the notion that existing as a woman also means an open invitation to flirtation or touching. The responsibility to correct this behavior does not lie with the victim. This is someone who feels entitled and their predatory behavior is something they must acknowledge and correct.

It makes sense that the fault doesn’t lie with the person being harassed, but then why are there feelings shame or guilt felt if it’s happened? We may feel we could have done something to prevent the situation or maybe we did something to provoke it. Its also common to feel powerless over what took place and unable to take back control. Your feelings are normal and valid, but remember you are not to blame for what happened. Allow yourself to accept what took place to move on with your life. Do not give in to gaslighting or pressures to keep quiet. Too many times other women have been in the exact situation and to avoid more attention kept their stories to themselves. Notify your place of work so that this situation can be addressed. Notify people close to you if you feel nothing is being done. Our voices were heard many times before, asking for our right to feel safe in a place that should already protect us from harm so allow yourself to be vulnerable to regain your peace.

Its ok to be scared about what comes next. Its also ok if you feel the need to move on from that job or just reevaluate what you want from life because even though we know it wasn’t our fault, we want a fresh start. We also hear a lot about what a victim of harassment should do to heal from a situation like this, but one thing that helps a lot is friends, family, and support groups especially since harassment could affect feelings of self-esteem. We need to do right by the loved ones who have gone through these experiences and below I have addressed some point made by Sherry Gordons article “How to Heal from Workplace Sexual Harassment,” that can help you support them.

Remember to give them space. As friends or family, you may want to do everything in your power to help your loved one who’s dealt with harassment by showering attention. Keep in mind they may prefer more space at this time and have set more boundaries. Respect their decision to not want an excess of attention while reminding them to keep in touch.
Everyone heals in their own time. Be patient. Do not let your desire for them to heal to affect their actual healing process. It’s hard to come back from dealing with harassment. Trying to speed up their process could create feelings of guilt and you do not want to make them feel like their experience is a burden on you. The harassment could then be interpreted as affecting those around them and slow down their progress.
Let them make their own choices. A power struggle happens when someone experience sexual abuse and it can conflict with a person’s autonomy afterword’s. They may decide that the career they were pursuing no longer interests them or decide to move. Realize that even though you may not agree with their choices this is what they need for themselves.

~Karla Morales

sexual abuse, Self Care, Depression, ConfidenceMonica ManuelFebruary 1, 2022Therapy, therapist near me, cognitive behavioral therapy, trauma therapy, emdr therapy, psychologist near me, psychotherapy, counseling near me, marriage counseling near me, cbt therapy, behavioral therapy, cognitive therapy, gestalt therapy, lmft, psychodynamic therapy, child psychologist near me couples counseling near me, couples therapy near me, find a therapist, psychotherapist near me, mental health therapist near me, person centered therapy, milieu therapy, mental health therapist, somatic therapy, solution focused therapy, narrative therapy, humanistic therapy, clinical psychologist near me, talk therapy, rational emotive therapy, eft therapy, grief counseling near me, emdr therapy near me, existential therapy, family therapist near me, anger management therapy, emotionally focused therapy, relationship therapist, psychoanalytic therapy, holistic therapy, therapist near me for depression, child counseling near me, psychological therapy, dbt therapy near me, anxiety therapist near me, Therapy for black girls, therapy dog in training, therapy cat, therapy Thursday, therapy horse, therapy time, therapy life, therapy helps, therapy sessions, therapy for black men, therapy animals, therapy quotes, therapy dogs rock, therapy horses, therapy animal, therapy for the soul, therapy for black women, therapy pet, therapy dogs international, therapy dog so fig, therapy oil, therapy music, therapy dog training, therapy for asians, therapy is okay, therapy yoga, therapy ducks, therapy dog, therapy question mark, therapy for children

Fitness Routine: The Mental Health Benefits of Exercise

You already know that exercise is good for your body. But did you know it can also boost your mood, improve your sleep, and help you deal with depression, anxiety, stress, and more?

Exercise can improve brain function and protect memory and thinking skills. To begin with, it increases your heart rate, which promotes the flow of blood and oxygen to your brain. It can also stimulate the production of hormones that enhance the growth of brain cells.

Exercise is not just about aerobic capacity and muscle size. Sure, exercise can improve your physical health and your physique, trim your waistline, improve your sex life, and even add years to your life. But that’s not what motivates most people to stay active.

People who exercise regularly tend to do so because it gives them an enormous sense of well-being. They feel more energetic throughout the day, sleep better at night, have sharper memories, and feel more relaxed and positive about themselves and their lives. And it’s also a powerful medicine for many common mental health challenges.

Regular exercise can have a profoundly positive impact on depression, anxiety, and ADHD. It also relieves stress, improves memory, helps you sleep better, and boosts your overall mood. And you don’t have to be a fitness fanatic to reap the benefits. Research indicates that modest amounts of exercise can make a real difference. No matter your age or fitness level, you can learn to use exercise as a powerful tool to deal with mental health problems, improve your energy and outlook, and get more out of life.

What are some ways to started with exercise?

Many of us find it hard enough to motivate ourselves to exercise at the best of times. But when you feel depressed, anxious, stressed or have another mental health problem, it can seem doubly difficult. You know exercise will make you feel better, but depression has robbed you of the energy and motivation you need to work out, or your social anxiety means you can’t bear the thought of being seen at an exercise class or running through the park.

Start small. When you’re under the cloud of anxiety or depression and haven’t exercised for a long time, setting extravagant goals like completing a marathon or working out for an hour every morning will only leave you more despondent if you fall short. Better to set achievable goals and build up from there.
Schedule workouts when your energy is highest. Perhaps you have most energy first thing in the morning before work or school or at lunchtime before the mid-afternoon lull hits? Or maybe you do better exercise for longer at the weekends. If depression or anxiety, has you feeling tired and unmotivated all day long, try dancing to some music or simply going for a walk. Even a short, 15-minute walk can help clear your mind, improve your mood, and boost your energy level. As you move and start to feel a little better, you’ll often boost your energy enough to exercise more vigorously—by walking further, breaking into a run, or adding a bike ride, for example.
Focus on activities you enjoy. Any activity that gets you moving counts. That could include throwing a Frisbee with a dog or friend, walking laps of a mall window shopping, or cycling to the grocery store. If you’ve never exercised before or don’t know what you might enjoy, try a few different things. Activities such as gardening or tackling a home improvement project can be great ways to start moving more when you have a mood disorder—as well as helping you become more active, they can also leave you with a sense of purpose and accomplishment.
Be comfortable. Wear clothing that’s comfortable and choose a setting that you find calming or energizing. That may be a quiet corner of your home, a scenic path, or your favorite city park.
Make exercise a social activity. Exercising with a friend or loved one, or even your kids, will not only make exercising more fun and enjoyable, it can also help motivate you to stick to a workout routine. You’ll also feel better than if you were exercising alone. In fact, when you’re suffering from a mood disorder such as depression, the companionship can be just as important as the exercise.

You don’t have to spend hours in a gym or force yourself into long, monotonous workouts to experience the many benefits of exercise. These tips can help you find activities you enjoy and start to feel better, look better, and get more out of life.

~ Jade Asuncion

Are You Ready to Manifest? Secrets to Lifestyle Change and Personal Manifestation

What have you already brought into your life – by your direct choosing of it, as the result of doing what you have always done, of not choosing something different? What have you manifested that you don’t want?

In the beautiful nature of your life, you are a co-creator with the universe. If you believe that you are a part of the greater whole, that you are not separate from source energy, then what you are able to manifest is the result of your choosing – of using your free will to decide what will be. It is this simple – we only need to decide everything that we want.

As you practice being far more attentive and observant of your thoughts, you will see how you are always manifesting. Your thoughts determine how you feel and your mood state influences the kinds of thoughts that you think. You are always bringing into your life what you desire most as well as what you do not want – all of which is determined by your focus and the energy directed towards something.

Manifesting is seeing (and feeling) the future of what you want now in this moment; and then taking the steps to make this your reality in the physical world.

“I AM” is perhaps the most powerful two words that you could ever use to manifest. Pretend that what you want is already what you have and what you are. What you may have enjoyed in childhood as daydreaming and imagination, continue to be a powerful secret in bringing all that you want into your life – now.

“Daydreaming, imagining, pretending and ‘make believe’ are all ways of describing how to manifest.”

One of the secrets to manifesting is to focus on the outcome that you desire most – regardless of the fact that it may not be your current reality. Remember that manifesting is co-creating; it is bringing to you something that you do not yet see. If you become distracted by and focused on what currently is when and what is not what you desire, then this can be discouraging. Instead, continue to manifest what you want – as you move in the direction of this.

“Of course, it goes without saying that you must also always be grateful, thankful – for what you currently have – and having of what is still on its way to you.”

Give yourself some alone time to practice manifesting using your imagination and intentional focus.

As you go about your day, take a few moments at a time to stop whatever you are doing and see and feel this desire wholly. Use the new language of ‘I AM’ to instill this as your new reality. Let yourself feel the feelings that arise and revel in these feelings for a time. This is how you manifest most effectively.

Let these three guiding secrets help further with manifesting all that you want in your life.

1. Use your free will to choose.

2. Be unwavering in your certainty of what you want and hold belief of this.

3. Direct the energy that wields all things by holding your focus unto what you desire most as you act as though this is already here – now.

We are all manifesting in each moment. You manifest when you bring what is wanted (desired) into the material world. You are able to manifest some desires instantly. Each time that you are thirsty – you likely reach for a glass of water. This is manifesting.

Remember, it is your job is to be ready, to hold the course, to not give up, to be clear as to what you want, and also flexible in how it shows up. Be bold in the asking and ‘seeking’ of your desires – without settling for anything less. See if you can practice the laser focus that will direct what you want into your life. You’ve already been doing this. Now as you co-create more, do so with deliberate choice. Let your manifesting be how you live your dream life.

~ Jade Asuncion

Troubled Spirit: How to Handle the Holidays with Narcissist

What happens when you’re surrounded by the people who are unable to understand and empathize others, and who only focus on themselves? Narcissism is a self-centered personality style characterized as having an excessive interest in one's physical appearance and an excessive pre-occupation with one's own needs, often at the expense of others. They might think they’re entitled to go where they want, snoop through your personal things, or tell you how you should feel. Maybe they give you unsolicited advice and take credit for things you’ve done.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration, they believe they deserve.

Is it possible to live happily with a narcissist? Can narcissists be good family member? How do you cope when you’re seeing them over the holidays?

Combining a narcissist with the already heightened drama and expectations of the holiday season, can feel like a recipe for disaster. The narcissist in your family tree might be a parent, an adult child, even an in-law. But whoever it is, getting together with them in celebration can mean putting up with their criticism, self-aggrandizement, and demand for attention.

If someone in your family possess this behavior, you're probably not super excited to be spending time with them over the holidays. Here are the tactics that can make get-togethers easier:

• Expect no sympathy or emotional support. If you open up about events like a job loss or health problems— you expect family members to express sympathy and support. A narcissist isn't capable of giving that to you. This can catch you off guard and leave you feeling hurt and discouraged. Remember that the narcissist does not see the world as you do. Look for comfort and support from others instead.

• Don't get defensive. When a narcissist monopolizes holiday dinner conversation or shows no interest in the other people, you may feel defensive. Their behavior is a way to compensate for how they really feel. Understanding this can help you feel empathy for them and not get so angry when they behave as they will.

• Set firm boundaries. Narcissists often feel they are being mistreated or that others are the source of problems and not them, and tend to adopt a manipulative, persuasive, and dominant attitude to get their way with family members or friends. If you can't get out of the holiday event, limit your time there. You have the choice to limit your presence and interaction with such individuals for your own sanity, whether they like it or not.

• Look after your mental health. It's holiday time, and just because there's a narcissist in the house doesn't mean you can't enjoy all the good things the season brings. It's important to take care of your own mental health, as people who are abused by narcissists often end up blaming themselves for the dysfunctional relationship and may develop symptoms of anxiety or depression. Be good to yourself, and before you know it, the gathering will be over, and you can plan not to have to see them again next year.

Knowledge is power. Becoming aware of the shortcomings of narcissistic people can leave you with a sense of freedom and power. Addressing your issues in therapy may allow you to free yourself from negative core beliefs that you may have developed as a result of the parenting that constantly made you feel inferior or inadequate and develop the sense of value and respect that we all deserve.

~ Jade Asuncion

Equilibrium: Achieving Work-Life Balance

Achieving a work-life balance is something we all dream of. It seems impossible as if it’s nearly out of reach, but it is a goal that’s possible to accomplish. What does this phrase, “work-life balance” really mean? In short, it is just making sure you are dividing your time in a way where you spend a healthy amount of time being concerned with work-related things and the rest of the time, doing things that you enjoy. If you wanted to take that kick boxing class at your local gym or teach yourself a new artistic medium, but assumed you wouldn’t have time to because of your work schedule, this blog may help you create and maintain a beneficial work-life balance.

Remember when you were younger and you enjoyed what felt like an eternity off from school in order to celebrate the holidays? Well, those days are long gone. Now, as a working professional, you need to balance all of your gift shopping, baking, wrapping, and family time with your normal work schedule. And, finding time for it all can definitely be a challenge.

The most wonderful time of the year is also the most stressful for lots of people struggling to fit in increased end-of-the-year workloads, holiday parties, shopping, guest hosting, travel, and seeing friends and relatives who you’d otherwise avoid. Luckily, the same coping mechanisms that can help relieve stress and find better balance during the year also work for the holidays.

If you want to achieve successful work-life balance especially around the holidays, then you need to make an effort to be intentional with your time. You don’t take personal phone calls or do online holiday shopping while you’re at work. So, apply this same rule to your personal life.

Here are four tips to finding work-life balance during the holidays.

Plan Ahead. Having these future tasks and assignments physically written down will keep you focused on your long-term goals—and not just the things that need to get done tomorrow. Plus, getting these things started early will free up at least a little bit of your time when the holidays are here.
Schedule Everything. Your planner will help to hold you accountable for not only your professional duties, but your personal relaxation time as well. The key is just to stick to it.
Explore a Flexible Schedule. Sometimes there just aren’t enough hours in a day and when you’re trying to make it to your child’s holiday concert in the middle of the workday, sticking to your standard work schedule can be difficult. So, if you think it would be helpful to you, consider talking to your boss about a flexible schedule or remote working opportunities around the holidays.
Say No. Speaking of saying “no”, it’s an important thing for you to do every now and then. Oftentimes we end up working too much, simply because we have too much to do. While it feels great to be that go-to person that people can count on in a pinch, it just might not be realistic with your schedule.
Be Intentional. When the day is done, leave your work in the office. Actually, having adequate time to enjoy the holidays with your family is sure to help you feel more balanced.
Spread Holiday Cheer. Let’s face it, there’s no way around it, you still need to work during the holidays. So, although heading into work when you feel like you should be throwing snowballs or drinking hot cocoa can be a little demoralizing, there’s no rule stating that you can’t incorporate some holiday cheer into your normal work day. Put in some earbuds and listen to festive music while you’re working. Enjoy an afternoon mug of hot chocolate or head out on your lunch hour for a quick walk through the snow.

People report feeling less stressed about the holidays when they stop expecting so much from themselves, because nobody puts so much expectation on us as we do to ourselves. If we stop focusing on what we feel like we’re obligated to do, and start focusing on what we want and need to do, the load gets lighter and the holidays get a lot merrier.

Maintaining an adequate balance between your personal and professional lives is always a challenge. But it can become extra difficult during the holiday season, when you feel an increased desire for more personal and family time. Try out these tips to stick to all of your work deadlines, while still being able to enjoy the holidays!

~ Divine Ikpe

Tips to have a healthy heart

Change is an important part of living with heart disease or trying to prevent it. A jump in blood pressure or cholesterol earns you a lecture on healthy lifestyle changes. Heart attack and stroke survivors are often told to alter a lifetime of habits.

Some people manage to overhaul their exercise pattern, diet, and unhealthy habits with ease. The rest of us try to make changes, but don't always succeed. Instead of undertaking a huge makeover, you might be able to improve your heart's health with a series of small changes. Once you get going, you may find that change isn't so hard. This approach may take longer, but it could also motivate you to make some big changes.

Here are 10 small steps to improve heart your health.

Take a 10-minute walk. If you don't exercise at all, a brief walk is a great way to start. If you do, it's a good way to add more exercise to your day.
Give yourself a lift. Lifting a hardcover book or a two-pound weight a few times a day can help tone your arm muscles. When that becomes a breeze, move on to heavier items or join a gym.
Eat one extra fruit or vegetable a day. Fruits and vegetables are inexpensive, taste good, and are good for everything from your brain to your bowels.
Make breakfast count. Start the day with some fruit and a serving of whole grains, like oatmeal, bran flakes, or whole-wheat toast.
Stop drinking your calories. Cutting out just one sugar-sweetened soda or calorie-laden latte can easily save you 100 or more calories a day. Over a year, that can translate into a 10-pound weight loss.
Have a handful of nuts. Walnuts, almonds, peanuts, and other nuts are good for your heart. Try grabbing some instead of chips or cookies when you need a snack, adding them to salads for a healthful and tasty crunch, or using them in place of meat in pasta and other dishes.
Sample the fruits of the sea. Eat fish or other types of seafood instead of red meat once a week. It's good for the heart, the brain, and the waistline.
Breathe deeply. Try breathing slowly and deeply for a few minutes a day. It can help you relax. Slow, deep breathing may also help lower blood pressure.
Wash your hands often. Scrubbing up with soap and water often during the day is a great way to protect your heart and health. The flu, pneumonia, and other infections can be very hard on the heart.
Count your blessings. Taking a moment each day to acknowledge the blessings in your life is one way to start tapping into other positive emotions. These have been linked with better health, longer life, and greater well-being, just as their opposites — chronic anger, worry, and hostility — contribute to high blood pressure and heart disease.

- Jade Asuncion

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Warning Signs of a Codependent Relationship

We all enjoy the sweet nature that often comes from being with our platonic relationships and significant others, as the connection shared between one another is unparalleled. However, relationships can turn sour without proper attention to red flags that may arise. This is particularly true in codependent relationships.

The American Psychological Association defines codependency as, "a dysfunctional relationship pattern in which an individual is psychologically dependent on (or controlled by) a person who has a pathological addiction (e.g., alcohol, gambling)" and

"The state of being mutually reliant, for example, a relationship between two individuals who are emotionally dependent on one another."

This state of being can be damaging to any relationship, creating an atmosphere of disrespect, dependence and obsession. These actions often lead to unhappiness and resentment. To prevent this, here are a few warning signs that you (or your partner) may be engaging in codependency:

Low Self-Esteem and Self Worth

Feelings of inadequacy, experiencing guilt or shame, and constant comparisons are common feelings codependents share. Honoring our needs and boundaries often prevents us from being placed in tricky situations, conflicts, or being willing to engage in self-destructive or people-pleasing behaviors. Detaching from the value of other's approval and toxic perception of oneself are great ways to combat this.

Blurred Lines

Weak or the lack of boundaries is a telltale sign of codependency within a relationship. Codependents often express their objection to tolerating addiction or domestic violence behaviors within their relationships, then acquiesce when such issues come about. Allowing your partner (or any other individual) to walk all over you and constantly bending your own rules isn't helpful to either person in a relationship, as boundaries are pertinent in any connection. Some ways "blurred lines" or compliance can manifest themselves are accepting sex as a substitute for love, being extremely loyal and remaining in a harmful situation for far too long and putting aside your interests to pursue what others want.

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses…

Suppose you often find yourself constantly rationalizing, taking on abusive behavior as your fault, or in denial of your partner's behaviors rather than helping them combat any concerns. In that case, you may be engaging in a codependent relationship.

Covering up this behavior is damaging and enabling such acts through can break down any relationship quicker than one can imagine. Denying toxic patterns and minimizing how you genuinely feel only continues this vicious cycle.

Codependent people often find difficulties in expressing their feelings and articulating their thoughts. Due to the overwhelming fear of being rejected, abandoned, or criticized, combined with an overwhelming need to control, codependents sacrifice the will to communicate or have undeveloped communication skills that can foster a healthy communication.

Everyone deserves love, that in its purest and healthiest form. If you happen to relate to any of these signs, help is available. It all starts with the will to repair and heal a once-wounded relationship.

~Eryka Warren

Cultivating Self Compassion

Let’s face it, we all struggle with negative self-talk. Some more than others, but we all hear that little voice in the back of our minds that either berates us, expresses deep disappointment or frustration with our actions, and flags down our every insecurity when we least expect it. We hold those so-called “truths” as fact and not for what they are: thoughts. Fleeting thoughts plague our minds now and again, but it’s essential to realize that the power remains within ourselves.

The key to combating this phenomenon is self-compassion and not giving said thoughts any more intensity or tenacity in our already stressful lives.

Upon the first actualization of what self-compassion is, we may ask ourselves, “Well, what is it?” or, “What does that even mean?” and this question is more common than I realized. Most have experienced compassion at least once in their lives, either from a parent, friend, teacher, or mentor. Those moments are a lot more precious than when we first acquaint ourselves with them. This saving grace is transformative, and practicing this method towards ourselves would amount to unprecedented changes within our lives.

Self-compassion factors in three components: self-kindness, mindfulness and common humanity -- all three of which we practice daily. The warm inner understanding, acceptance of imperfection, and balanced approach to our humanness that accompanies self-compassion is the focal point of it all. Taking a nurturing perspective, rather than critical, makes all the difference in our mental wellbeing and can improve our outlook on life and our actions.

It’s dually essential to understand what self-compassion is not, and how the initial realization is daunting and discouraging in this mindfulness journey. Dr. Kristen Neff describes this phenomenon as akin to ‘backdraft,’ “A similar process can occur when we open the door of our hearts – love goes in, and old pain comes out…. ‘When we give ourselves unconditional love, we discover the conditions under which we were unloved’ or ‘Love reveals everything unlike itself.” (Self Compassion, Neff).

While confidence and wishful thinking are ideal and the easy way out, it cheapens the true meaning of what self-compassion is. Holding ourselves accountable for our mistakes and flaws helps us elevate and rewire our thinking to bolster long-lasting pleasure in our lives.

~Eryka Warren

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Overcoming Perfectionism

Achieving our goals for a lot of us is its own reward because we know of the amount of work we put into making it happen. In the process of completing a goal, many of us may feel the pressure of making sure it is done without making mistakes along the way. This could be magnified by criticisms beginning to feel like personal attacks and feelings of being overwhelmed. This can create setbacks that cause you to procrastinate more than you normally would. When putting our mind to a task, we have to keep focus and remember the positive aspects of our achievements because not accepting anything less than perfect could cause the situation to become stressful and lead you to believe it’s not worth the effort.

There are many ways to make sure you achieve your goals without adding that extra pressure to be perfect on yourself. According to an article by Elizabeth Scott in her book, “How to Overcome Perfectionism”, setting smaller goals for yourself in order to achieve your larger goal, creates more room for you to feel you are accomplishing what you have set out to do. Now not only do you have that rewarding feeling when you complete your short-term goals, but that fear of failing is minimized.

Take for example if your goal is to run your first 5K. Without listening to what your body can endure, running the 5k right off could lead to a disappointing outcome. The idea is not to start off on the day of the race. Begin with running 1K or even walking the sense of completion begins to appear as your practice ends. As you become stronger and are able to endure longer runs the 5k goal inches closer into becoming a reality. The day of the race, you’re as fast as you’ve ever been and that 5K goal that was so distant at one point is now at arm’s length.

Here are a few more important things to remember when trying to overcome perfectionism. Your aspirations are worth the effort, but that does not mean you have to endure a struggle to make sure it’s perfect. We are born with a right to be valued and respected. Talk with family or friends so they are aware of what you are going through and can help. The good thing is our lives are wonderful unique journeys and we never have to travel alone.

Remember you have achieved so much just to get where you are today. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves to be thankful for what we have already achieved. Repeat out loud or write down positive things that came from attempting to achieve your goals. This could be directly related to that goal or just something great that happened that day like meeting new friends. Mold a negative situation into a positive one. If you initially viewed something as a mistake, take that same situation and know you learned something new that day.
Mistakes happen and all we can do is move on and make the best of the situation. It can be hard to grasp that literally everyone in the world makes mistakes every day. Some mistakes can be bigger than others but if billions of people can come back from those mistakes so can you. Focusing on what could have been done takes away from what you can do. A setback or a mistake does not mean you are starting again at zero. What you gain each time is experience and if we didn’t make mistakes, we probably wouldn’t learn a thing.
Criticism can help us become the best version of ourselves. Sometimes criticisms can come from unwanted places or when we are at our lowest points, but criticism could also be filled with love, concern, and helpful advice. The line between helpful criticism and a personal attack could sometimes be difficult to pinpoint, but recall the relationship you have with this person, tone, and words used. Again, if you may be in an overwhelming situation another person’s opinion may be stressing but keeping an open mind for alternative options could be the solution you are looking for.
Starting something is the hardest thing to do and many of us have given into procrastination. Give yourself time to accomplish your tasks to avoid stress. Creating an outline or getting an idea written down is the starting point for a lot of what the world has accomplished today. Keep a calendar or a to-do list to keep you on track. Large projects may seem daunting but avoiding the situation won’t accomplish anything. If we break it down into more manageable pieces we can overcome.
We are human and sometimes we need guidance to help us organize. Therapy is a tool used to help you create balance in your life. It is healthy to ask for help and to want to talk about your feelings if they become uncomfortable. When noticing certain signs such as feelings of being inadequate or depression a therapist may be able to help you get through the disruptive thoughts. Staying silent and dealing with these thoughts by yourself will make it increasingly difficult to complete goals because they can make you stall or give in to pressure. Believe you can take control and take a step in the right direction to a healthy mind. You are worth all the effort.

~ Karla Morales

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Beginning the Journey to Self-Belief

We doubt ourselves because we worry about what others may think.

When we are in doubt, it's often because we don't want to make any room for mistakes. However, mistakes are also how we learn and grow. We can lessen self-doubt and fear of failure by practicing being kind to ourselves, no matter the outcome.

When we are scared to stop the self-doubt, we internalize the stories others have told us, we hang out with people who doubt themselves too, we are doubting ourselves to a point where we feel comfortable being last and we become addicted to our own negativity and excuses.

So let’s talk about believing in yourself.

Believing in yourself means having faith in your own capabilities. It means believing that you can do something that it is within your ability. When you believe in yourself, you can overcome self-doubt and have the confidence to take action and get things done.

So, what exactly happens when you stop believing? What happens when you lose you? You become lost; you are no longer you. Low self-esteem creeps in due to or our self stories and self-history.

Steps to Confidently Believe in Yourself

Work on your strengths not your weaknesses — Everyone has weaknesses and strengths. You need to determine how to identify your strengths. The solution to start building confidence right away is to stop spinning your wheels at things you aren’t wired for. Discover what you are already good at, and work at becoming great. Talk to your family, close friends, and colleagues about what your strengths are. What are some things they come to you for help with? You’re not fishing for compliments, though sometimes this exercise can come with a confidence boost.
Embrace who you are — How can you have faith in yourself when you don’t know who you really are? Or worse, you are trying hard to be someone you’re not. Self-confidence comes from embracing who you are and what’s important to you. It does not come from being inauthentic or trying to impress people. Remember that your experience of life is about you, and their experience of life is about them.
Believe you can and you will — It’s not wishful thinking — believing something changes the way you see the world and yourself. You either see possibilities, or hopeless obstacles. Which will you choose? To start believing in yourself, you have to stop believing you are stuck with the skills and abilities you have right now. This is called a fixed mindset, which is a limited thinking pattern that’s fatal to your success.
Instead, start believing you can change. This way of thinking is called a growth mindset. It means that you believe change is possible. It may be true that you don’t have what it takes to accomplish your goals, right now. But if you believe you can improve, develop, and learn, then you will get there — even when nothing goes right. You will grow.
Be your own coach — If you don’t believe in yourself, you won’t believe someone who is cheering you on from the sidelines. That’s why a great small business coach leads their clients to success not by cheerleading, but by developing talent. Managers who focus on developing talent get outstanding results. The secret is, you don’t need another person to work through this process. You don’t need to possess qualities of leadership to coach yourself through it. Choosing ideas that suit you and working with your strengths.

Work on these steps consistently, and you will begin to see amazing things happening in your life.

There are challenges. Part of the process means getting over negative self-talk, fear of failure, and imposter syndrome. You may have to face genuine anxiety and work on ways to manage it. Every single person who has done any kind of self-improvement will tell you that these feelings are very real. They’ll tell you it’s scary, but the results are worth it. Each time you step into something new there will be fear. Your power lies in walking through that fear and doing the thing anyway.

It’s your life and you don’t need to live it to anyone’s expectations but your own. If you want a different life, make it yourself.

~ Jade Asuncion

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Self Love Concept

When we think of self-love we may often think of spoiling our desires. Self-love may take the form of relaxing hot showers, calming baths, scented candles, enjoying a cup of coffee while reading your favorite book, going for a jog, finding clothes you like, treating yourself to a spa day, and good food. But self-love isn’t just about pampering yourself.

Loving ourselves is being able to look in the mirror for once without criticizing our own bodies. It is finally feeling content with where you are at in life. Loving ourselves is being able to be happy for both ourselves and others when we achieve success. It also involves speaking and thinking kindly of ourselves, as well as listening to our needs - and sometimes putting ourselves first!

There are many days where you are unable to shut out your thoughts. There are days when being able to say you survived is an achievement in itself. There are nights when it all gets too much and you’re frustrated at how you’re unable to explain what is going on within yourself. There are moments when you know you’re still chained by the things in your past and you hate yourself for still being affected by it all. I know this feeling personally. In fact, take the time you need to deal with it. Take that day off or go on a day out if you are unable to muster the strength to go on.

But don’t give up entirely. As difficult as things may be, know that you have the power to work through it — or around it at least. There may be events in our lives that have shaped who we are, to a point that we are unable to detach ourselves from what has happened. Here’s the truth: you can either wallow in the weight of this moment, or you can fight for your life and make it a good story. Chose your happiness every time, but most importantly, take it step by step and day by day.

I discovered that being simply honest with your emotions is the most freeing thing a person could ever do for themselves. Allowing yourself to embrace it all is truly living honestly. Know that by being open with what you feel, you are being your authentic self — and that, is just being beautifully human.

The Keys to Genuine Happiness

What is genuine happiness? Is it composed of the “things” you own or desire? Is it finally getting that new job, earning that 4.0, asked on a date by the crush you have admired for months or the new purse you have saved up for? Happiness does not revolve around things we desire; true happiness is internal and starts within. According to Dr. Suzanne Degges White of Psychology Today there are four key factors that one should practice daily to create a culture of happiness in their lives.

Friendliness: Sometimes it is hard to meet new people. As individuals we experience everyday responsibilities and struggles that causes us to put meeting new people and creating new experiences on the back burner. However, having friends are extremely important, they are there to help uplift and support you. When you are open to creating new friendships and spreading kindness you are stepping out your comfort zone and allowing more pleasure to enter your life.

Cheerfulness: For majority of people, it is difficult to be optimistic when it feels like your world is crashing around you, when everything that could have possibly gone wrong does. The last thing you probably want to do is smile. If you were thinking about giving up, don’t! Smile instead. It is stated that smiles are contagious and when you smile you are letting go of exhaustion and frustration. When someone offers you a genuine smile or vice versa the energy is reflected, your perception has changed, and your day is brightened.

Compassion: Showing compassion to others positively influences the giver. When we are having a rough day or going through personal situations we are not on our “A” game, we are forgetful, tired and emotional. Yet, when someone takes the time out of their day to show compassion and understanding we instantly feel better. The act of compassion is a key because it truly brings peace of mind to one’s heart.

Gratitude: When you wake up every morning there is at least five things you should be grateful for. When you are grateful and appreciative of the little things, you are creating a habit of finding the good in any stressful, unhappy or uncomfortable situation. You also will find yourself speaking things into existence and changing your outlook.

~Alexis Adams

Confidence, MindfulnessMonica ManuelAugust 14, 2019Therapy, therapist near me, cognitive behavioral therapy, find a therapist

Treat Your Inner Critic as Your Friend

Having a perfectionist personality comes with its own share of problems. The main one being that inner critic that does not see the hard work but rather the imperfections. It points out minuscule opinions that can negatively impact mental health. Taking steps that will make the inner critic a friend rather than an annoyance can change the pattern of growth. The voice of the inner critic relies on insecurities to bring you down rather than build you up. In many ways our inner critic is also what ignites the fire to pursue ambitions so by making a path where the inner critic does not stand in the way of making progress, there is a greater scope of creating boundaries that can impact mental health in a positive way. One of the ways you can rewire your inner critic is to think of it as a playlist where there are many options to change the song or the artist. Giving the inner critic a set of characteristics that clearly define the boundaries between a critic that is unhelpful and does not promote self-growth and a critic that improves qualities that can let you grow in a positive manner. Self-criticism can also be managed by increasing a way for more self-compassion. Often times we neglect giving ourselves the same care that we give to others. This hurts our emotional self and can set us back in the pattern of growth that is necessary to be successful. The characteristic of self-compassion can give us the start we need to get up after a failure and make our way back on the path. Finding the balance between positive and negative self-criticism is a delicate one but once it is figured out, there is more scope for being the best version that allows for the most success.

~Angela Jetty

Anxiety, Confidence, Self CareMonica ManuelJuly 30, 2019mental health therapist, Therapy, therapist near me, cognitive behavioral therapy

Overcoming Obstacles to Live

Life happens! No matter what is done or not done, said or not said…life will continue to happen. But while life is happening, there are choices that can determine the outcome of one’s ability to live or exist with the happenings of life. Obstacles..they happen! In life! And are meant to teach a lesson in order to maintain growth, which is a main aspect of living. Obstacles can also be the hindrance that forces merely existence. So, how does one overcome the obstacles in life in order to live and not merely exist?

Obstacles create tension, and with that tension comes unconscious exerted behavior as an easy coping mechanism. Knowing self well enough to forgive the self for the actions is a key aspect of having the capability to move forward. Take the time to recognize the emotions caused by the obstacle and express those emotions the best way possible. Journaling, talk therapy, and expressive recording are a few ways that allow an individual to simply…GET IT OUT. Once it is out, it becomes easier to analyze and gives a clear insight into the information needed to recognize the message and the lessons intended to teach. The more the lessons are relevant, the more they are applied to life in order to continue growing with the intent to LIVE.

For every illness, there is a cure. Look at obstacles as an illness and you have the key ingredients for the cure. Life does not have to be harder based on a choice. Therefore, learn from the experience of the obstacle; grow from what you learn, and live through your growth. How does something grow without the proper nutrients? The obstacle is the food and the valuable lessons are the nutrients. Consider one’s ability to express to be the waste needed to be disposed of in order to absorb the healthiest minerals. Continuous consumption of healthy minerals equates prosperous growth which then equates healthy.

~DeAnna L. Alexander

Confidence, MindfulnessMonica ManuelJuly 17, 2019Therapy, therapist near me, cognitive behavioral therapy, existential therapy