Suicide is a topic filled with unresolved issues, unanswered questions, voided homes and hearts, and an overwhelming sense of guilt from our actions or lack thereof.

Personally, I have dealt with my fair share losing people in my life due to suicide, however it’s the aftershocks that are usually not dealt with and are often swept under the rug. Let’s note the word “swept”. It’s important to notice the privilege many of us have to set our emotions aside with ease, and we should recognize this when supporting people who no longer can or are on the brink of exhaustion.

Suicide is no longer the taboo topic it once was several years ago as prevention methods, awareness and de-stigmatization is spread rampantly across the globe in efforts to protect and lend a listening ear to those suffering in silence. Yet, it's still a silent killer and leading cause of death in youth and the top tenth cause of death across all ages in the United States.

The real question that should be asked is how do we aid in the prevention of suicide? What are the signs? How do I empathize and effectively prevent someone who is contemplating a suicide attempt? The answers are never simple, but with proper attention and care is the difference between life and death.

Warning Signs
There are no clear cut signs to know if someone is considering suicide, which allows for this fly under the radar for many individuals. In case of the lack of clear sign, surviving loved ones often mull over what they might have missed. Either way, a combination of factors may be instrumental to the ultimate decision. Some of the most common risk factor and warning signs include:

• Mental Illness

• Substance Use

• Chronic Pain/Illness

• Social Isolation

• History of trauma or abuse

• Recklessness

• Displaying extreme mood swings

Preventative Measures
By first realizing the typical signs of someone who is considering suicide, its best to take immediate action by asking directly,

“Are you thinking of killing yourself?”

Asking this heavy loaded question causes a bit of discomfort because it's something we’d usually never talk about with someone we’d care about. However, beating around the bush in a crisis is not conducive for life-saving. Unhelpful styles of this question can vary from, “You’re not thinking of killing yourself, right?” or “Don’t kill yourself, just shake it off’. These types of approaches aren’t accommodating, and often allude to the entire situation being an inconvenience for the querent, making them less likely to seek help and sink deeper into isolation.

Other protective measures that prove to be very helpful for those in crisis include contacting providers, strong connections with family, community and social institutions and remarkable conflict resolution skills. Among many other protective measures, these core actions increase the likelihood of survival immensely. Through helping others connect with various resources, staying connected to ensure their health is improving and keeping them safe through removal of lethal objects, we all are able to save lives and prevent our loved ones from attempting suicide.

Without reference to the limitless trials and tribulations we all face on a regular basis, suicide should never be the answer. If you believe that you or a loved one is experiencing or contemplating a suicide attempt, help is available. By being alert and compassionate, we can all lessen the threat of this major public health crisis.

Resources:

• Suicide Prevention Lifeline Network

• 1-800-273-TALK (8255) (Veterans, press 1)

• Crisis Text Line - Text TALK to 741-741 to text with a trained crisis counselor from the Crisis Text Line for free 24/7 help.

• The Trevor Project (1-866) 488-738

~ Eryka Warren

What happens when you’re surrounded by the people who are unable to understand and empathize others, and who only focus on themselves? Narcissism is a self-centered personality style characterized as having an excessive interest in one's physical appearance and an excessive pre-occupation with one's own needs, often at the expense of others. They might think they’re entitled to go where they want, snoop through your personal things, or tell you how you should feel. Maybe they give you unsolicited advice and take credit for things you’ve done.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration, they believe they deserve.

Is it possible to live happily with a narcissist? Can narcissists be good family member? How do you cope when you’re seeing them over the holidays?

Combining a narcissist with the already heightened drama and expectations of the holiday season, can feel like a recipe for disaster. The narcissist in your family tree might be a parent, an adult child, even an in-law. But whoever it is, getting together with them in celebration can mean putting up with their criticism, self-aggrandizement, and demand for attention.

If someone in your family possess this behavior, you're probably not super excited to be spending time with them over the holidays. Here are the tactics that can make get-togethers easier:

• Expect no sympathy or emotional support. If you open up about events like a job loss or health problems— you expect family members to express sympathy and support. A narcissist isn't capable of giving that to you. This can catch you off guard and leave you feeling hurt and discouraged. Remember that the narcissist does not see the world as you do. Look for comfort and support from others instead.

• Don't get defensive. When a narcissist monopolizes holiday dinner conversation or shows no interest in the other people, you may feel defensive. Their behavior is a way to compensate for how they really feel. Understanding this can help you feel empathy for them and not get so angry when they behave as they will.

• Set firm boundaries. Narcissists often feel they are being mistreated or that others are the source of problems and not them, and tend to adopt a manipulative, persuasive, and dominant attitude to get their way with family members or friends. If you can't get out of the holiday event, limit your time there. You have the choice to limit your presence and interaction with such individuals for your own sanity, whether they like it or not.

• Look after your mental health. It's holiday time, and just because there's a narcissist in the house doesn't mean you can't enjoy all the good things the season brings. It's important to take care of your own mental health, as people who are abused by narcissists often end up blaming themselves for the dysfunctional relationship and may develop symptoms of anxiety or depression. Be good to yourself, and before you know it, the gathering will be over, and you can plan not to have to see them again next year.

Knowledge is power. Becoming aware of the shortcomings of narcissistic people can leave you with a sense of freedom and power. Addressing your issues in therapy may allow you to free yourself from negative core beliefs that you may have developed as a result of the parenting that constantly made you feel inferior or inadequate and develop the sense of value and respect that we all deserve.

~ Jade Asuncion