What happens when you’re surrounded by the people who are unable to understand and empathize others, and who only focus on themselves? Narcissism is a self-centered personality style characterized as having an excessive interest in one's physical appearance and an excessive pre-occupation with one's own needs, often at the expense of others. They might think they’re entitled to go where they want, snoop through your personal things, or tell you how you should feel. Maybe they give you unsolicited advice and take credit for things you’ve done.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration, they believe they deserve.

Is it possible to live happily with a narcissist? Can narcissists be good family member? How do you cope when you’re seeing them over the holidays?

Combining a narcissist with the already heightened drama and expectations of the holiday season, can feel like a recipe for disaster. The narcissist in your family tree might be a parent, an adult child, even an in-law. But whoever it is, getting together with them in celebration can mean putting up with their criticism, self-aggrandizement, and demand for attention.

If someone in your family possess this behavior, you're probably not super excited to be spending time with them over the holidays. Here are the tactics that can make get-togethers easier:

• Expect no sympathy or emotional support. If you open up about events like a job loss or health problems— you expect family members to express sympathy and support. A narcissist isn't capable of giving that to you. This can catch you off guard and leave you feeling hurt and discouraged. Remember that the narcissist does not see the world as you do. Look for comfort and support from others instead.

• Don't get defensive. When a narcissist monopolizes holiday dinner conversation or shows no interest in the other people, you may feel defensive. Their behavior is a way to compensate for how they really feel. Understanding this can help you feel empathy for them and not get so angry when they behave as they will.

• Set firm boundaries. Narcissists often feel they are being mistreated or that others are the source of problems and not them, and tend to adopt a manipulative, persuasive, and dominant attitude to get their way with family members or friends. If you can't get out of the holiday event, limit your time there. You have the choice to limit your presence and interaction with such individuals for your own sanity, whether they like it or not.

• Look after your mental health. It's holiday time, and just because there's a narcissist in the house doesn't mean you can't enjoy all the good things the season brings. It's important to take care of your own mental health, as people who are abused by narcissists often end up blaming themselves for the dysfunctional relationship and may develop symptoms of anxiety or depression. Be good to yourself, and before you know it, the gathering will be over, and you can plan not to have to see them again next year.

Knowledge is power. Becoming aware of the shortcomings of narcissistic people can leave you with a sense of freedom and power. Addressing your issues in therapy may allow you to free yourself from negative core beliefs that you may have developed as a result of the parenting that constantly made you feel inferior or inadequate and develop the sense of value and respect that we all deserve.

~ Jade Asuncion