Overcoming Perfectionism
Achieving our goals for a lot of us is its own reward because we know of the amount of work we put into making it happen. In the process of completing a goal, many of us may feel the pressure of making sure it is done without making mistakes along the way. This could be magnified by criticisms beginning to feel like personal attacks and feelings of being overwhelmed. This can create setbacks that cause you to procrastinate more than you normally would. When putting our mind to a task, we have to keep focus and remember the positive aspects of our achievements because not accepting anything less than perfect could cause the situation to become stressful and lead you to believe it’s not worth the effort.
There are many ways to make sure you achieve your goals without adding that extra pressure to be perfect on yourself. According to an article by Elizabeth Scott in her book, “How to Overcome Perfectionism”, setting smaller goals for yourself in order to achieve your larger goal, creates more room for you to feel you are accomplishing what you have set out to do. Now not only do you have that rewarding feeling when you complete your short-term goals, but that fear of failing is minimized.
Take for example if your goal is to run your first 5K. Without listening to what your body can endure, running the 5k right off could lead to a disappointing outcome. The idea is not to start off on the day of the race. Begin with running 1K or even walking the sense of completion begins to appear as your practice ends. As you become stronger and are able to endure longer runs the 5k goal inches closer into becoming a reality. The day of the race, you’re as fast as you’ve ever been and that 5K goal that was so distant at one point is now at arm’s length.
Here are a few more important things to remember when trying to overcome perfectionism. Your aspirations are worth the effort, but that does not mean you have to endure a struggle to make sure it’s perfect. We are born with a right to be valued and respected. Talk with family or friends so they are aware of what you are going through and can help. The good thing is our lives are wonderful unique journeys and we never have to travel alone.
Remember you have achieved so much just to get where you are today. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves to be thankful for what we have already achieved. Repeat out loud or write down positive things that came from attempting to achieve your goals. This could be directly related to that goal or just something great that happened that day like meeting new friends. Mold a negative situation into a positive one. If you initially viewed something as a mistake, take that same situation and know you learned something new that day.
Mistakes happen and all we can do is move on and make the best of the situation. It can be hard to grasp that literally everyone in the world makes mistakes every day. Some mistakes can be bigger than others but if billions of people can come back from those mistakes so can you. Focusing on what could have been done takes away from what you can do. A setback or a mistake does not mean you are starting again at zero. What you gain each time is experience and if we didn’t make mistakes, we probably wouldn’t learn a thing.
Criticism can help us become the best version of ourselves. Sometimes criticisms can come from unwanted places or when we are at our lowest points, but criticism could also be filled with love, concern, and helpful advice. The line between helpful criticism and a personal attack could sometimes be difficult to pinpoint, but recall the relationship you have with this person, tone, and words used. Again, if you may be in an overwhelming situation another person’s opinion may be stressing but keeping an open mind for alternative options could be the solution you are looking for.
Starting something is the hardest thing to do and many of us have given into procrastination. Give yourself time to accomplish your tasks to avoid stress. Creating an outline or getting an idea written down is the starting point for a lot of what the world has accomplished today. Keep a calendar or a to-do list to keep you on track. Large projects may seem daunting but avoiding the situation won’t accomplish anything. If we break it down into more manageable pieces we can overcome.
We are human and sometimes we need guidance to help us organize. Therapy is a tool used to help you create balance in your life. It is healthy to ask for help and to want to talk about your feelings if they become uncomfortable. When noticing certain signs such as feelings of being inadequate or depression a therapist may be able to help you get through the disruptive thoughts. Staying silent and dealing with these thoughts by yourself will make it increasingly difficult to complete goals because they can make you stall or give in to pressure. Believe you can take control and take a step in the right direction to a healthy mind. You are worth all the effort.
~ Karla Morales